Oop! Some hilarity and quotable disasters...

OH! On a happier note, I forgot to mention that I had new quotes from the nuthouse/weekend adventures. We got a day pass, and hilarity resulted... Here they are:


"AUUGH! My kidneys are collapsing!!"-t on red/yellow tea water

"Oh, it's HORRIBLE. It looks like Peg Bundy threw up all over herself!"-t on dress in BEBE window (she's got a job as a future fashion critic, I'm SURE!)

"Hey mom, now that I have a job, I'll take my coffee with two sugars and a LOT LESS OF YOUR BULLSHIT!!"-t on mommy nagging

"Look! That looks like pyjamas--that flowery thing in that window!"-e on dress
"That's what's in--the 'just got off the mailman's dick' look!"-t on fashion

"The golfkart's like, 'No, I'm to heavy for this kind of physics-bending bullshit!'"-t on golfcart curb jumping

"Libraries are cool. In fact, I have a t-shirt that says, 'If I could kiss a library and stick my cock up a library's ass, I would!'"-t on e's trying to get jobs through gay prostitution (at libraries??)
...though t has no dick herself....

"I like libraries...and people. ...And, I LIKE libraries....and...people. But MOSTLY Libraries!!"-e on why she should work as a librarian

"Fuhk me allreddy. Just stick your fat Dick up my...allreddy."-e mocking skanky bitches with baby voices


"When we're old, we'll go up this hill with powercarts, like nascar racers!"-e on climbing hills of Westwood
(in granny voice) "Ima gonna beatcha up this hill, betch!"-t imitating e being old
(in granny voice) "Granny Tybay goes, 'ohh, NO, you wont!!'"-t
"I bet one of your cats!!"-e to t
"Yeah, well, I fucked one of your cats last easter!!"-t to e
"How does every conversation devolve into sex and bestiality?"-e to t
(pause)
"Yeah, well, I'm allergic to cats, so all the cat-fucking was on YOUR side..."-e to t as the final indignity of the conversation


"You know, elephants aren't THAT big...porportionally. To Themselves. To each other. To a female elephant, it's like a hot dog in a hallway."-t on e taking up as Catherine the Great--but upgraded to elephants-- in her old age, since having lots of cats is out.

(T farts) "An important message from your sponsor...(pause) a very vegetabully one!"-t

(T farts again) "Attention KMart shoppers..."-t

"Mummble, grumble....TEA SNIFFER..."-e's imprecation against T violating her drink airspace
"YOU'RE a TEA SNIFFER!!"-t to e in response



Aaand, From the FAMILY IDIOCY file....some real Gems: (Dad launched such a bad one right before dinner with the family that it prompted the following slightly disgusting discussion of farting/rank odors...)

"I didn't know there were different brands of fart."-j
"Ohhh, yeah."-e

"It's a CLINGY one."-dad
"Then there's the LINGERING kind that doesn't go away..."-j
"Oh, yeah, the 'silent killer'!"-e

"Mine aren't so..."-e
"Clingy?"-j
"...poisonous..."-e
"RANCID!!!"-j


We had to open the window to get it to dissipate--that's when you KNOW they're trying to kill you. AHAHAHA!



And just a final thought for the night (found this online somewhere...think about it, and what it spells out):

Foxtrot. Uniform. Charlie. Kilo.