Dear Sea of Fishes: I’m throwing this one back

What is it about people who have no courage? Seriously, I’m not a mate devouring spider. If you want to avoid me, do so, but don’t be a wimp and not show up to work. Hey, I showed up, because I at least have some modicum of professionalism.

Basically I have concluded that it IS better to never have relationships with anyone you peripherally work with, because you can never rely on the other person to have any sort of objectivity or professionalism after all is said and done. Or at least, others don’t have the ability to turn off their liking for someone with the snap of a switch. I think it’s something that women have probably evolved over the years—an emotional coping mechanism for finding the best mate; if one person doesn’t work out, we purge ourselves (however long or short that takes) and move on to the next prospect. Or in my case, move on to the enjoyment of free time and a lack of preoccupation with having to worry about someone interrupting our free time with minutinae.

Besides, I’ve always had the attitude that dating people you work with is just NOT DONE. Guess that’s why boy sort of sidewaysed (oh yes, I’m making that into a verb) his way into a “relationship”—what any other normal person would simply term casual dating. I think the reason why the dating didn’t go anywhere (and why I didn’t want it to) was A. because I was sort of working with the guy and wasn’t really interested in dating much in the first place (too busy), and B. because I wasn’t really interested in him anyway, other than as a friend. Besides, if you’re not sexually/romantically interested in someone, it won’t go anywhere at all. You can’t have one partner doing all the work. That’s not a relationship. Which was why I was trying to keep it at “casual dating” and why time and again, I stated that I was only interested in dating once in a while. If you can’t understand that, then you’re setting yourself up for a fall.

Maybe that makes me a venomous, man-eating spider, but hey, I’m not asking people to commit to a relationship. I don’t want that right now; I’m committed to getting grad school done with a “summa cum laude” next to my MS title. If it happens, it happens, but I’m not interested in serious investment at this time. Plus, I’m REALLY REALLY not comfortable dating people younger than me. With guys, it’s better to go a few years older, because then at least they’ve got a little more maturity, and can have the “so, are we going to date exclusively” conversation. (Which I never had with boy, obviously, other than stating that I wasn’t interested in anything more serious---twice.)

And don’t even get me started on asking coworkers for advice where kids can hear. You can bet I’ll be hearing about it. ARG. I only talked to my friends, and they’d never blab that shit, just as I’d never blab confidential shit about friends to anyone else. It’s just right up the “DON’T GO THERE” alley.

So yeah, that fishie was too young. Eh.