Monday, January 29, 2007

The Quotes are coming, the Quotes are coming!

Ah, the joy. Life is once again fun, if slightly insane...or inane, whichever. The fun never seems to end (as well as the proliferation of silly, witty, idiotic and amusing quotes) in the land of mE.
Here they are, in all their fine (and funny) glory:


"Le WEE!"-t and e

"...Leprosy must have sucked.Tea Please!"-t in a posh accent

"I would be careful before you artichoke [are to choke] on your artichoke."-t to me

"We otter seal the deal."-t on saving seals (silly idea)

"I can't help staring...I feel like a lesbian, 'cause her jeans lift and spread...sorta like a push up bra..."-me on the waittress

"What are you doing?"
"......kneading....."-t on rice crispies

"Do I LOOK like a bovine animal?? DO I?? DO I?!?! HUH???"-e
"...Do you WANT me to answer that?"-t

"My credit card likes your kangaroo pocket."-t to waiter

"As long as you LEAVE my toilet seat and don't go party with it...it's ok."-t to me on the urge to pee

"I try to walk up the hill when going against gravity so i don't have one large misshapen leg and on sorta scrawny one."-me on sk8boards

"But my toilet might have a bad influence on you---it does have quite a potty mouth!!"-t

"I refuse--it's tails side up!"-t, appalled
"It's just a fucking penny! It's a 50% chance either way!"-e
"I'll take the OTHER 50% chance, thankyou!"-t

"Hey. Where are we going?"-e
"Hell in a handbasket!!"-t
"Oh. Right."-e

"This requires more thinking than I thought.Waiiiiit...."-me

"You know, I usually only get THAT worried when it's my wallet missing, and not my tomogatchi."-me

"Hello all roommates who may or may not be here!"-t
"Nope, no dead roommates, unfortunately for you."-me
"......I wonder if they would make me pay for a single if both my roommates 'died'?"-t

"Can I take my shoes off? My feet have been sweltering in my sock-things all day, and I would like them to be a bit frosty, like they usually are at home."-me

*sniffs* "Ahhh...the sweet smell of deadpan humor livens up the air..."-me

"I just want to feed them just enough rice and then pick them up when they get slow..."-t on china town pigeons
"At that rate, why don't you just feed it an alka-seltzer and see if its head explodes!?"-e on pigeons


And of course...there's more:

“Eau de Emu.”-e

“Stop watering, you NIMBICILE!”-e on sprinklers after the rain

“I’ll call you…if it rings.”-t on e’s phone left in her room

“Throwin’ in the Spoon.”-t’s corollary on towels and ice cream

“What’s your favorite extreme sport??”
“KNAVERY!!.......and knitting beanies.”


*car full of screaming idiots drives by*
“I hope they’re on fire.”-t @ 2am

“I just LOVE being able to add insult to injury before doing injury.”-t on the correct way of flipping people off, and punching them after

“Aw, crap. My laundry’s still in the machine!”-e at 3am, stranded at t’s room


And of course, on Birthday Jenga:

“You’re full of….zuchinni!”-ken

“You’re not supposed to TASTE it, you’re just supposed to swallow it…”-e on alcohol

“What’s this ‘boobs’ one?”-sheri

“Spanked by everyone…yay it’s my birthday!”-ken
“He’s a spanking stripper.”-toes

“Hello, can I take a break for an hour?”-kim
“Can I stop playing, because I think I’m gonna get an ulcer…”-kim

“Ring around the Couchy!”-toes

(on stripping)
“Here goes a sock…”-brian
“If you were in Iraq, Whoo Hoo!”-ken

“I didn’t know he was ambidextrous.”-toes (he wasn’t)

“Where did you get that one?”-toes on jenga piece
“I brought it from home.”-ken

“What’s the stakes?”-toes
“Everyone has to take off a sock!!”-me
“And smell it!”-toes

“See, how it widdles and waddles.”-toes (wobbles and wiggles)

“That one has some definite YANK potential.”-me on jenga piece

“Easy…easy…medium…..harder!”-toes

“No, that looks like a stabilizer.”-me on which piece to pick
“No, that’s a level 4 modifier block!”-ken

“I could seriously blow it.”-tanya
“Are you a leaf blower??”-toes

“Is this the way out?”-kim
“Any way you want!!”-toes


Like I said, my life is funny. In between all the spanish reading and general insanity caused by said reading (and classes).
(If you don't recognize the obscure historical/folklorical reference in my title, you are an American Idiot. Heh)

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